Depression can rob those you love — whether they're family, friends or co-workers — of the joy they usually
experience with normal activities and fill them with feelings of sadness and despair. Not surprisingly, their
depression affects you, too, as someone who cares about them.

Going through an episode of depression with another person can be a very difficult experience. It requires patience
and courage on both your parts. If a loved one is depressed, it can help to learn all you can about their condition
and treatment. Know that you can offer your support in a variety of ways. And remember to care for your own physical
and emotional health during this period. Taking such steps may help smooth the way to happier days for you both.

Recognize the signs of depression

If your family member or friend is depressed, he or she may not acknowledge the problem or may be embarrassed about
it or feel hopeless that things will ever improve.

Two hallmarks of the condition are:

Loss of interest and pleasure in normal daily activities
Feelings of sadness, hopelessness or crying spells

Other signs and symptoms include:

Sleep disturbances
Impaired thinking or concentration
Significant weight loss or gain
Agitation or slowing of body movements
Fatigue
Low self-esteem
Less interest in sex
Thoughts of death

If you suspect it's depression, gently urging your loved one to see a doctor is the best thing you can do. Point out
that depression is a medical condition that doctors can effectively treat. Mentioning that other conditions, such as
thyroid disease, can mimic the symptoms of depression may help further persuade your loved one to seek treatment. A
primary care doctor can assess the situation and, if the person is depressed, can treat the condition or refer him or
her to a specialist.

Understand depression

If you've never experienced depression yourself, then it's impossible to know how helpless and hopeless a person can
feel in the midst of it. Understand that depression is a serious illness that requires medical attention. It isn't the
result of a character flaw. It's not laziness. And people who are depressed can no more snap out of their depression
than can individuals with diabetes or arthritis. Fortunately, medication, psychotherapy or a combination of both can
help resolve most depression. Try reading more about the condition and treatment to better understand what it's like.

Help that heals: How to offer support

Even if you can't know what depression feels like, you can offer empathy and compassion. Simply being there for the
person can make a difference in the course of his or her illness.

To help someone who's depressed, you can:

Gently express concern. Acknowledge the depressed person's pain, but avoid using the words "I know how you feel,"
since you likely don't really comprehend the depths of the person's sadness. Though you may think you know what's
causing the depression, avoid offering solutions. Listen if he or she wants to talk, but try not to ask too many
intrusive questions. People who are depressed often don't have the energy or inclination to discuss their symptoms,
and they may instead just stop talking.
Ask how you can help. Your loved one may not have specific suggestions of things that you can do, but he or she will
know that you're willing to be supportive. Depression may leave the person unable to take care of regular chores and
tasks. Make yourself as available as possible to help balance the checkbook, keep the home in order, run errands and
take care of children.
Give positive reinforcement. Depressed people often feel worthless, and they may too harshly judge their own
strengths and weaknesses. Remind the depressed individual of his or her skills and abilities and how much he or she
means to you and others.
Encourage healthy behaviors. Sometimes a depressed person may want to spend the day in bed. Gently urge him or her to
get some light exercise, engage in a hobby, or join you for a movie or a religious service. However, don't be too
forceful if he or she doesn't want to go. If your loved one is undergoing treatment, help him or her remember to take
prescribed medications and to attend therapy appointments.

Watch for serious changes

If your loved one is depressed, he or she is at greater risk of taking his or her own life. Stay alert for suicide
warning signs such as:

Agitated behavior and sleeplessness
Statements about no longer living, like "You won't have to worry about me much longer"
Giving away possessions or saying goodbye to friends
Suddenly cheering up after a period of depression — though this may sound like unusual timing, if a person is
depressed, he or she may regain the energy and focus needed to plan to commit suicide, yet still be depressed enough
to carry through with it

If you think a loved one is considering suicide, call a doctor, mental health clinic or suicide hot line immediately.

A balancing act

Don't expect immediate results when your friend or loved one begins treatment for depression. Counseling and
medications take time. The doctor may need to prescribe several types of antidepressants before finding a drug or
combination of drugs that eases symptoms. Some medications must be taken for at least a month before they take full
effect. In the meantime, encourage your loved one to continue treatment and remind him or her that things will improve.

Supporting someone who's depressed isn't easy. Caring for someone who's depressed can be stressful and may cause you
to become stressed and depressed as well. It can be even more difficult if you have others to care for. Share your
feelings with a caregivers' support group or discuss the situation with a counselor, relative or other trusted
individual. See your doctor if you develop any problems that you think require medical attention.

Remind yourself that with proper treatment, most people with depression recover. Better days may be on the horizon.